(The Unedited Version)
My dad's parents were born and raised in Tennessee. My mom's parents from North and South Carolina. Cotton mills, pet pigs, from-scratch biscuits, and the word "holler" are all part of my grandparents' vernacular on how they grew up. (To me, that's pretty southern.) Both my Grandpas were in the military and moved often as a result, so my parents weren't raised solely in the South. Over the years, they have shifted their locale closer to the 'Deep South' with each move- Maryland, then Tennessee (where I was born), and settling in Alabama 25 years ago, when I was just a year old. And we've been here ever since. Well, my parents and siblings have. I haven't exactly.
In 2001, I moved from my parents' home to go to boarding school in Mobile, Alabama. I sought a more challenging education than what was offered in my rural town. After completing my last two years of high school, I decided to go to college in New York City for architecture. (I could write pages on my schooling experience, but for brevity's sake, I'll save that for another time.) I applied to three schools in the South and the one in New York, never thinking I would actually get accepted. But I did, and I made a decision to go because 1. It was a very good school 2. Free tuition and 3. It was somewhere away from here, heck, it was New York City.
Most everyone in New York is from somewhere else, many places much more exotic than Alabama. Upon telling people where I was from I always received an eyebrow raise, as this seemed to strike interest. I have been asked so many dumb questions about cows, Nascar, and slaves. I had never thought that my upbringing in Alabama was an interesting characteristic of myself until then. But often I felt as if I had to defend that, because of the negative stereotypes.
Now that I am older and have lived elsewhere- the "Big City" to be exact- I do have a greater appreciation for the South. I never denied being from here, and I didn't hate living here. I just didn't understand it. I never really felt like I fit the stereotype (which isn't always a stereotype) of Southern Belle or Redneck or Country Bumpkin' or whatever. Somehow the term 'Southern Pride' gets convoluted with images of Confederate Flags [see my neighbor's truck], which is not quite up my alley. My experience here doesn't relate to 'Gone With the Wind' lifestyle either. In retrospect, my view and projections of Alabama and the Southern lifestyle might not have always been accurately represented. I now understand there are many layers of Southern life and culture worth discovering and recognizing.
I've moved back to Alabama under unique circumstances. It wasn't quite my choice. My boyfriend Chris died by suicide last September. We met in 2008 while I was in my last semester of school. Chris had just moved to the city. Our casual dating turned into a wonderful relationship after some months. New York was where we worked and lived together. We saw a future with one another. He was my best friend and my other half. I miss him every single day, and he will always have a place in my heart. It has been devastating and difficult to cope with sudden and unexpected loss of Chris-I shared my home, my heart, and my life with him- and the future I thought was set forth for the both of us. At times, I feel as though I lost Chris as well as the rest of my life, or the components that went into it. I had to relinquish our apartment, get rid of many of our furnishings and my belongings, give up my job, and any semblance I had of a social life in New York- it was all left behind. I had to, and I needed to make that [unexpected] move home to.... Alabama- a foreign land to me by now. But it has been a safe place for me to be with my family while I've grieved. I appreciate so much the people in my life and am so very thankful for the love and support shown to me by family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers.
Even if I am to be in a transient moment in life while living here, or perhaps this is an introduction to a permanent settling- neither of which I currently know- I should make the best of my current life-situation and use my move back to Alabama as a learning experience and an opportunity to be where I never thought I would find myself again. Daily I am learning more and more about myself, Chris's death has changed the way I think and live my life, definitely. But I do think my true character remains the same. While I contemplate all of this, I want to look ahead and look more closely at the person I am. Looking back on my life (at the young age of 26, I understand), I am thankful for the many opportunities I have had. The chance to have a wonderful education in high school and college, to live in New York City, to have Chris and his love in my life, to have great friends over the years, to have a loving family, to have met so many interesting people who have taught me a lot and to have all the experiences I have had. It all contributes to my unique and interesting life. I wholeheartedly recognize all of this.
I enjoy learning, creating and designing. I appreciate intelligence and diversity. I apply this to my everyday life, which is now in Elkmont, Alabama. I try and approach the world by finding beauty and inspiration everyday. I see that as a source of growth for myself, and I believe it enriches my creative side. That is one thing that my education at Cooper Union taught me. I have the ability to discover something from nothing, or in this case to discover the everyday beauty in my homeland.
So this is a not-so-brief About Me, as I continue to learn and make and rediscover where I grew up and what it has to offer.
